Hey God..Are you there?

Since childhood we are made to believe that there is some superpower that punishes us for our wrong-doings,rewards us for our kind acts..and "we" actually are a "gift" from HIM to our parents..[like someone remarked casually "until the age of 9,I actually thought that some fairy left me into my mother's lap..]..but as one grows old and enrolls in the school of life,this whole theory starts looking a bit made-up..[ 'a bit' because I am not a complete non-believer..]

That there is one guiding light that looks after us and is so ever benevolent is hard to believe,and no one ever questions HIS authority is because He would punish the non-believers..But the point is why would He,if He 'loves' all His children?

Another theory is that-to God all men are equal..In that case why there are some who live their whole life in luxury oblivious to the misery all around,while a boy dies in Somalia just because his father couldn't even earn enough to give him a day's bread.and if I dare say that in its ugly face,pat comes the argument of "karma"..[all right I can handle that..].Though a recent Hindi movie song went to the extent to say that "karma is a bitch",I need not go that far..If our fate in this life is in direct proportion to our karmas in past-life,then why does a whole city or for that matter even the whole nation faces the wrath of a natural calamity such as tsunami or earthquake..Had the whole Sendai city done something wrong in past life?..Thousands of innocent people have died in bomb blasts,who in the eye of God is wrong..?..

And if there are no conclusive answers to these questions,then the whole line between "good" and "bad" seems blurred..for a layman to believe that something is wrong had always been linked to God's justice-that He would punish for cruel acts,'one day'..So if God does not actually "punish" the "bad guys",then how do we know what actually is bad because that 'one day' takes too long to come..?..seems a conundrum no?

Is everything random?

Though I gave all enough reasons to seem to be standing in line with the atheists,but actually I am just unsure.Unsure and perplexed.If I am to believe that God does exist,then I must say that our God is a way bit lazy to act...and needs to set-up a fast-track court to give justice.

Or the government must add a spiritual clause to RTI and get God under its ambit too.

[not an athiest,just a free-thinker :)]